My Favorite Night of the Week

May 26, 2008 at 2:39 pm (Musings)

My favorite night of the week is Wednesday - Family Dinner night. This Balla Family tradition was birthed several months after we moved into our home in Parkesburg. I lured our young-adult children to our house with the promise of a free home-cooked meal (compliments of Attila) and a rather conprehensive salad bar which includes each person’s favorite dressing and REAL bacon bits. At first they came obediently and somewhat dispassionately. I knew they were humoring their mom. But it has evolved into something everyone looks forward to.  We all try to work our schedules around Wednesday night dinner now. 

This past week we had our typically boisterous affair. Several of us have ADD and talking over each other is a sad but true reality. We are trying to work on that! I can’t blame Attila one bit for never wearing his hearing aids on a Wednesday night.

This week Katie brought a wedding picture for the silver frame we received from the newlyweds at their rehearsal dinner last August. Both the picture and the frame are beautiful! She also brought the plans to the house that she and Declan are building. The foundation is going in and I got to see the layout for the first time. They are hoping for a July settlement date.

Brent and Declan had their heads together discussing how to finish off  the basement after the move. Pat Gerlach had dropped in and was huddled at the end of the table with Attila, no doubt discussing politics. My mom called to remind us to bring in the mail at the new house (they move June 24th) and Leigha called to tell me that she thinks a hamster might be okay after all - and should she bring a bathing suit for the weekend?  

Johnna and Eddie did not join us this week, but I showed everyone the pictures we took last Saturday before their Junior/Senior Prom. She looked ravishing in an elegant up-doo and a floor-length blue gown with silver sparkles. Our baby is growing up! Eddie wore a really sharp tux with a hat that reminded me of my brother Rhys when he played one of the starring roles in “Guys and Dolls” in high school.

I listened with excitement as Tara gave me the wedding update. Brent has been talking about having the reception at People’s Light. He knew that it would most likely be way too pricey, but he insisted that they at least check it out. They went to their meeting with the wedding coordinator, knowing that their budget was well below the going rates. The chef came out and told them he would do it for their budget amount! I guess December 27th is not typically a big day for weddings. I’m sure that booking a less expensive reception is better than booking no reception at all. We feel blessed.

Jayden is a busy guy at these gatherings. Ashley helps out a lot so that Lyryn can participate in the conversation. This week the little guy was a man with a mission,  scooting himself all the way under the table and exploring where no human has gone before (at least not recently). Later, Brent was holding Jayden when he grabbed a fistful of vinyl lace tablecloth, ripping out a huge chunk of it and holding up the prize with a grin on his adorable little face. You could hear a pin drop as all eyes turned toward me to see how I would react to this destruction of my inner Martha Stewart. I knew that silently the kids were cheering because they all hate the vinyl lace cloth. I told everyone that I wasn’t liking how the tablecloth bunched up anyway! This will be my one concession to baby-proofing (for now at least). Jayden also has a fondness for our fruit bowl and happily sucked on fake grapes after that. (no Mom, we won’t let him choke). The vibrating teething ring was also a hit.  

 I think we are going to need a bigger dining room.

2 Comments

We’re Pregnant! (Sort of)

May 20, 2008 at 10:23 pm (Updates)

I am more tired than usual and certain smells get to me. I am constantly dreaming of ways to reconfigure my house so we can fit another person. Are we expecting? Indeed we are, but we are “pregnant” with a twelve-year-old.

Our anticipated due date is early August. We currently have contact with our daughter via phone calls and visitation on Sunday afternoons (which is even better than an ultrasound). The good news is that our “baby” already walks and talks and is fully potty-trained. The bad news is that before long she will be a teenager – our sixth! Shouldn’t there be some legal limit on how many teenagers a person is allowed to raise?

The “baby” I refer to is Leigha, of course. She was our foster child from the age of 6 through the age of 8. At that time Leigha was reunified with her birth family and for the next three years we maintained a positive relationship with her mom and got to see Leigha for regular weekend visits. 

In February 2007 Leigha returned to foster care. She has spent the last year at Kid’s Peace until recently when she was transferred to Devereux. We are thrilled that we have been asked to be a permanent resource for her and are busy getting our criminal checks and abuse clearances. We are looking forward to having Leigha home for the long Memorial weekend.

I don’t think we ever really dared to dream that she would come home to us someday. Ashley has been pro-adoption from the moment we learned that Leigha would not be returning to her birth family. She relishes the thought of being a big sister again. Some people have expressed concern that we are taking this on at our ages (and with the medical issues we have faced). Other friends have said, “It never occurred to us that you wouldn’t take her.” It isn’t like we decided it was “save a kid month” and surfed the net to find some homeless child to adopt. We are simply welcoming our daughter home again. And it’s about time!

So… we are trying to figure out where to move Attila’s “den” and what to do with Leigha’s beloved dog Zoey since I am allergic to animals. She has already been lobbying for a guinea pig but that might even be too much animal hair for me. She will just have to make due with her 120 stuffed animals.

When I suggested to Leigha that I wasn’t sure how we could manage to raise another teenage girl, she told me with the confidence of a forty-year-old, ”Mom, I have already been through so much that I probably won’t be a difficult teenager. I have sort of done all that already.” From her lips to God’s ears… Just in case, we are putting on our seat belts – it is likely to be a bumpy ride!

 

4 Comments

Attila Uses Up Another One of His Nine Lives

May 10, 2008 at 8:55 pm (Updates)

Forgive me readers for I have sinned. It has been 22 days since my last confession (I mean post!). Although I have not been communicating with you via this blog, I have had God on speaker phone for quite a while. I suspect that my constant chatter is beginning to annoy Him, but then I remember that He made me this way, so I figure He can handle it.

So… back to Attila. What a guy! It is a good thing the man inherited some cat DNA and comes with the requisite nine lives. He used up another one of them this week. I was not amused, but we are all extremely grateful that God isn’t finished with Attila yet.

I was at work on Tuesday when I received a phone call from a total stranger informing me that my husband was in a car accident. The color drained from my face (I’m guessing on this one, okay?) as the caller told me that my husband wanted me to know that he would not be able to pick up Johnna for her dentist appointment. I thanked him for the info and asked if Attila looked like he might have broken anything. He calmly replied, “Probably.” 

Honest and succinct - I appreciated that. I informed this guy that Attila’s kidney is in the front of his body and that the 911 responders needed to be aware of that. The police officer arrived and got briefly on the phone before handing me over to the medic. I gave him the 4-1-1 and hung up to wait for the call back.

Fast forward four days. Attila was discharged from the hospital last night. He has a hairline fracture on his left kneecap, eye bruises that would entice a raccoon to flirt with him, a bruised forehead, a bruised heart and lungs, and a seatbelt burn/abrasion going from his neck to below his piggy buckle (okay, some of you know that body part as a belly button). He hurts. He really, really hurts. Percocet is our friend!

So what happened? As Attila tells it, he was traveling down Route 926 at the speed limit (about 40). The road dipped and rose again, forming a valley of shadow. A blue convertible BMW was at a standstill in the nadir of that dip, preparing to make a left turn. Attila says he never saw the car. He plowed into her, totaling both vehicles. There were no skid marks. He wasn’t on a cell phone and he says he wasn’t distracted by anything. He simply didn’t see the car.   

Attila was driving Brent’s 1991 Toyota Camry. The vehicle had no air bag but did have an automatic seat belt harness that crosses the chest as you close the door. This is significant because Attila has a terrible (I repeat, TERRIBLE) habit of not wearing a seat belt. He is alive only because that car forced him to wear one! And if Attila had pulled the lap belt across his abdomen, he probably would have lost our dear Susie to impact damage.  

Attila told me that the accident resulted in the worst pain he has ever experienced. That is saying a lot for Attila. I think he just forgets about things - like getting his ribs sawed apart for quadruple bypass and having his pain narcotics reversed immediately following his first kidney transplant (because they couldn’t get him to wake up). I think he forgets the heart attack on his birthday and the staph infection in his jugular catheter a week later. I think he forgets suffering through an entire weekend in congestive heart failure  because the doctor told him he had bronchitus along with our foster baby Natalie. I think he forgets when he was a kid and jumped over a barbed wire fence, managing to rip his buttocks and requiring a doctor visit to his home to sew it up (this was in the Dominican Republic nearly sixty years ago). I think he forgets, and now I think I am grateful that he forgets.

The driver of the other car was admitted to the hospital overnight with a concussion and sent home the next morning. Her 14-year-old daughter did not require hospitalization. We are so thankful to God for His protection of these innocent victims.

For a few weeks Attila will not be able to babysit our grandson Jayden, mow our friend Nancy’s lawn, or continue renovations on our house. The first thing he said to me when I arrived at the ER was “I am so sorry for inconveniencing everyone.” I almost inconvenienced him with a second beating! Yes, there are some things he won’t be able to do for a while, but there are lots of things he will be able to do - like visit Leigha at Devereux tomorrow. I will be driving of course, and Attila will be wearing a seat belt.

 

 

 

 

 

 

1 Comment