For about two weeks, my ability to hear was diminishing at frightening speed and I began to feel like a deep-sea diver. What was happening to me? I didn’t like any of the options: infection, allergies, sinus problems, hearing loss and of course, (the always terrifying) alien symbiote.
On May 8th I decided it was imperative that I visit a real doctor, preferably one with a genuine medical degree. And I knew just the guy. He took one look in my ears and told me they were filled with wax. That had never occured to me! No wonder I could barely hear and yet felt no pain.
As the man in the white coat brandished a massive metallic hot water pistol, there was no time for fear. It was actually awesome to feel the warm water rushing into my clogged ears. He handily released two disgusting creatures that I am fairly sure were alien symbiotes. Plop, plop, I could hear with clarity again! I have decided that spa resorts should include an ear-wax-removal treatment on their option menu, along with the traditional facial, pedicure, etc.
I admit that I was now giddy with joy. How often do we get to go to a doctor and be instantly healed of what ails us?
I gleefully asked him, “Isn’t this fun? I bet it isn’t often you get to cure someone in five minutes flat!” He agreed that it was indeed a good day. I informed him that I would be blogging about him later, and asked if he wanted me to use a pseudonym for him. He said, “If I am going to show up on Bill O’Reilly I do. Just call me ’Doc’.”
So… thanks Doc! Now I can hear my squealing teenagers at full throttle. It doesn’t get much better than that.
